Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?
by words end here
Summary: Blair and Nate during the summer of 2010 and doing roomies at Columbia. "We were always supposed to live together, Waldorf. You know that." Oneshot.


**A/N: **Is it too much to hope that B and N will be roomies in season four since they're both at Columbia? That Nate will treat her like the Queen she is after respectively been treated like crap by CS (notice BN parallels in 2x19 and 3x18, anyone?) thus re-awakening fierce season one!Blair and somehow resurrecting this show? When it comes to this writing staff, probably. But then, this is why we have fanfic to rectify this mess haha. I hope you enjoy some relatively happy Blair/Nate and your reviews are always appreciated.

* * *

**Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?**

_Why don't you sit right down and stay awhile?  
We like the same things and I like your style  
It's not a secret; why do you keep it?  
I'm just sitting on the shelf_

_I got to get your presence  
Let's make it known  
I think you're just so pleasant  
I would like you for my own_

_- She & Him_

_

* * *

_

Lounging with Harold and Roman in the Waldorf chateau (their own vineyard, a swimming pool, a tennis court – Nate should be here playing sports, Blair thinks and no, not _that _kind) Blair's busy criticising Serena's new fixation (smoking –Serena's says it's rock-star, Blair says "It's smelly hair and fingers with the possibility of _cancer, _S.") when her world disintegrates a little more. Serena blows circles of smoke in the air; they dissipate like their relationships.

Nate's the one to tell her that Chuck has been shot. A bullet is lodged in his abdominal cavity, Nate says. (Blair tries not to ask how he even knows what that is; Archibald only cared for two muscles in his body.) I'm just waiting on my flight out to Prague, he says.

Blair doesn't utter a word in response. She hands her phone to Serena, staring straight ahead out of her bedroom window, briefly muses not on the fact that Chuck is teetering on the line between life and death, but on the fact that Nate chose to call her when this was his excuse to talk to Serena.

It doesn't mean anything though. It can't.

"Natie?" Serena coos. Blair's stomach drops and she doesn't know why.

The rest of Serena words stream together in a blur Blair doesn't bother decoding.

She wants to be able to want to run to Chuck's bedside, crawl into that hospital and kiss him like she still cares for him on that same level.

But he'd broken both their hearts out in the cold a long time ago.

When his limo deposited her back to the Waldorf Brownstone.

When he told her frankly _you don't even have me anymore_.

Throughout her senior year when he just couldn't be man enough to be brave.

Chuck hadn't been snapping Blair's heart in pieces on one singular occasion. He'd trodden on it until it was bruised, bending it just a little further each time to see if it could break.

And she's taken her heart and walked away.

She loved him, but she's thinking of him in the past tense. Love is sacrifice, confliction, confusion, a choice between yourself and someone else. Blair is choosing herself, because despite all that comes with it – at the core, love should just be love. Simplicity couldn't be obtained in her relationship with Chuck. He's matured her in a way that has made her wiser, but he broke her fairytale. She's not sure if she'll ever truly forgive that.

She doesn't think she ever did.

It was almost like by taking Jenny Humphrey's virginity, he'd proven her right. That she'd been right about it all, a validation of facts confirmed a long time ago.

Serena snaps the cell phone shut. "B, we have to leave –

"No." Is all Blair replies and she's being firm on this. "This doesn't change anything –

"It changes _everything, _Blair –

"It doesn't change that I felt myself fall out of love with him." She gives Serena look that dares her to dispute it.

Serena nods slowly. "Okay. I'll stay."

Blair wonders how long S can keep that promise. She knows all Serena ever really promised was _I won't stay, but I'll always come back to you._

"I think you should go...he is family. Your family." Blair says.

"Not if not coming with me, B." Serena says, stubborn.

"I made a promise not to come crawling back to him ever again. For me, S, for my own sake, I have to keep it. Chuck has never run to me. He waits for me to come to him...not this time."

Serena looks at Blair with sympathy, and the brunette is reminded of why she and Serena fought fierily. Blair has never desired anyone's sympathy and when it comes from Serena, it makes her feel small. As if she wasn't already bended as far as she could break after this year.

"I still think you should go be with him. He needs you right now S, and as much as I wanted this summer to be ours, I'm not hurting." Maybe if she says it enough, it could be true. She feels conflicted over something – it's just not Chuck Bass.

"I'll go then. Blair, are you sure –

"Yes, Serena."

Waldorf's word is imperative and within three hours Serena is packed and on a flight to Prague. The blonde couldn't help but detect the fact that there were no words of encouragement in regards to her and Nate.

She was so busy heeding Blair's words of encouragement during the course of her and Nate's time together that she never took the time to think about the possibility that maybe, maybe Blair wasn't trying to convince Serena that she and Nate were the golden couple and it was the natural course of things. When Serena falls asleep on the plane, she wakes up thinking about how much Blair invested herself with Nate the first time around, how she held back the second time, and how maybe more than anything else, Blair's words of encouragement were an attempt to convince _herself_ that Nate and Serena were inevitable. With hindsight, Serena remembers Blair's words hinted with earnest hope but overall, very forced. Blair was speaking about her first girl and her first love together. The three were too close for anything other than awkwardness and a little resentment and little _what if?_

_

* * *

_

Blair is left to shop alone. She has no trouble picking up boys but it's exhausting – talking to these people she knows she'll never really care for. Without Serena she's given too much time to think about how her life should be right now, how she should have been the stronger woman she'd always hoped to be and followed through on the promises she made.

_Always have, always will._

She think about what her _always _has been reduced to, and for no real valid reason she wakes up on a tear stained pillow.

Serena gives her too much time to think of what Blair has been reduced to.

* * *

Nate flits around in Prague, only sleeping with one nameless girl and taking time to see Chuck every day. It's not until he utters "_How is Waldorf?"_ that Nate remembers just how much he has hurt Blair in a way that even maybe exceeds how Nate hurt her. He tries not to dwell on that.

It's fitting, that sitting at a bar drinking scotch Serena is the one that slides onto a barstool beside him. Her eyes are awfully apologetic and Nate greets her with silence. It's not angry or bitter. There isn't a lot to say – Serena had chosen her first love over Nate, and now he's wishing he had chosen his.

Serena's smarter than any of them really give her credit for, because she immediately encourages Nate to go keep Blair company in Paris."We know how much Harold loves you," she adds with a small smile. "I have to be here for my mom and Eric and Chuck, but B needs someone too."_She needs you._

"I've never been any good for her, Serena." Nate replies bluntly. He doesn't know why Blair has failed to meet someone who really was good for her. Nate and Chuck both betrayed her; it was why they could discuss her with relative ease.

"You would have been good for me," Serena says, her voice strangely sounding fragile. "You were good for me. Dan and I...I can't explain it. We don't make sense together. But when I'm with him he helps me make sense of me. I know how stupid it sounds but I look at you and I see a friend Nate. I also see mistakes. Too many to overlook."

Nate nods, he was everyone's favourite mistake. Serena has been the only one to say it out loud, but she's not the only girl who thinks of him like that. Vanessa was a mistake, Jenny Humphrey will look back in ten years time at Nate with fondness; her first crush who drove her literally crazy. He was a total mistake, she'll say. There had only ever been one girl who gave Nate a sense of purpose, even when she'd insisted on commanding everything.

Serena stares straight ahead of her and says straightforwardly, "I think that most of the time, I understand Chuck. Because honestly, I understand; he's _terrible._" she pauses, "And so am I. "You and Blair - you both repair people. You might not realise it, but you do. I watched her give Chuck a sense of peace, she's been there for me every drunken night since we were thirteen. She's drawn the conclusion that Chuck is beyond repair. She would have been here if she still truly loved him. She would have been here." Serena repeats firmly.

"I never thought you needed fixing." Nate says. Serena replies with an endearing look.

"Except I do. And Carter ran with me, you protected me and I love you for it Natie, but Dan grounds me."

There was a time when Nate wished he could do all three; now he genuinely doesn't care to fulfil those roles. It was clear that S had assigned those roles, although Blair on the outside was the one who liked to script everything.

"I should see how Blair is." Nate agrees. He departs Serena with a fleeting hug.

* * *

Nate makes a call to Dan in explanation and subtly implies that he's okay – about Serena, doesn't bother bidding goodbye to Chuck and after landing in Paris, calls Blair.

"I couldn't have a Waldorf alone in Paris." He greets her simply.

"Nathaniel Archibald," she greets fondly, and she's slightly estranged by how cheerful she just sounded, "did Serena put you up to this?"

"She encouraged it," Nate admits, "but I decided. Now how about picking me up?"

"I'm on my way out to the car as we speak." She quips, unable to conceal her delight. It delights _him._

"Blair?"

"Yes?"

"I missed you." She can't help but grin ludicrously, it fades away when she thinks of how she was seeing Chuck and Nate would innocently ask her where she'd been.

"I missed you too, Nate." She doesn't fully arrive at that realisation until she says it.

* * *

A limo door opens and Nate slides next to Blair and hugs her.

"It's been too long." He says it because it's true.

Harold greets Nate they way he always has, with a hug and a remark concerning how Blair's impeccable taste hasn't faltered.

A chaste kiss is panted on Nate's cheek. "I'm glad you're here, Archibald." Blair says, feeling thirteen.

A slender arm is looped through for the entirety of his stay, it seems. He enjoys being a gentleman for her, escorting her shopping and such.

He's in Paris but he's at home.

* * *

They don't discuss Chuck out of fear it might mar their enjoyment, but at the same time, they know the discussion is absolutely necessary.

They share a picnic in a park and Blair's eating strawberries when Nate says his name. "I never relied on you to kill the mood, Archibald." Blair replies.

"There is no mood." Nate says with a devious smile; Blair raises an eyebrow and shoots the same smile back.

"I don't know quite how to explain it," she admits. "I tell everyone that I don't care for Chuck in the same way anymore and no one believes me, just because they were invested in the idea of us."

Nate sighs. What she's saying hits a bit closer than he though it would.

"Do you think I'm in love with Chuck?" Her eyes are pleading for the honesty he's come to give to her. That's the reason he hopped on a plane here, because he could rely on her to be honest and frank because she loves him and cares about him despite everything. He needs to be able to do the same for her.

And he looks at her; he doesn't need to read that much into her to know she's resolved to live for herself and the people she cares about only. Blair had excluded Chuck permanently.

"No. I don't. I understand." Nate says it with firmness. She should have known having him here would bring her comfort and security. She looks at Nate and she's more allured than she should be. She knows they're friends and it should probably stay that why.

Blair decides for once, not to force anything. If it happens, it happens. It doesn't have to be perfect anymore, not when she's enjoying herself so much just being with him.

* * *

She pretends that she no longer thinks of him in that way for the duration of the summer. Nights she'll climb into his bed, nights he'll knock on her door and climb into hers. Sometimes they don't even say a word to each other.

* * *

Harold walks in on them one morning and doesn't make any snide comments, like he expects them to be sharing the same bed, but he smiles knowingly and alerts them that they're going to a friend's garden party tonight. Blair would do her usual priming but this was usually Serena's niche – the partying part. Blair would rather stay with Nate and do whatever he was doing, let him drag her to a club or play tennis the whole day.

They go somewhat reluctantly. Everyone comments how they make quite the pair and they don't bother to correct them of their status.

Their status is indefinable at this point. The only word that comes to Blair's mind is _always._

_

* * *

_

Blair doesn't know why she arrives at this idea, but she suggests one morning over breakfast withher father, Roman and Nate that she visit Chuck in Prague. Nate coughs awkwardly and Harold's eyes expand – Chuck has abandoned his daughter in several foreign countries now and he's not amused.

"I'll be with her." Nate clarifies and Harold gives Blair his okay.

* * *

"According to Gossip Girl Chuck is dating a random red-head." Nate informs Blair.

"I'm sure she's having the time of her life." Blair replies with sarcasm, but it's not laced with bitterness.

"You didn't have to do this. Come to him." Nate tells her, more than slightly angry at Chuck for seeing the extent of what he's done.

They're in the middle of the flight when Blair begins contemplating boarding a plane back to Paris the minute they hit the ground. Nate's right, she doesn't have to do this. Maybe she wants to. Maybe it's both. Suddenly she's very scared; her hands are clutching the arm rests too tightly, if she left her seat she'd probably take it with her.

"I want to let him know that there's no point in attempting to fight for me this time." Blair replies sternly.

"Blair," Nate begins, his green eyes seeing straight through her, "you're flying out to where he is –

"To prove a point!" She exclaims, causing approximately the entire cabin to turn around and observe this mini-drama.

"You don't have to talk to him to do that. You don't owe him anything and you know it. Besides...you're kinda taken." He smiles crookedly and lets his hand clasp hers. It stays put.

She's never been one to be defined by another's actions, but this is the point in which Blair _breathes _again.

"Well," she says, "if I'm _taken."_

They land and they don't do much before they're on a flight to Paris again.

Harold commends _Nathaniel_; "I see how you've protected her this summer, grounded her. Even run when she asked." He beams. Nate flashes a white grin back, it would be so completely cheesy if were not the truth.

* * *

Friendship works so well for them until it gets to the point where they need sex.

All it takes for Blair is for Nate's skin to make contact with hers and it's like an imprint, it stays on her. The reality is, as she fine well knows, is that it never really left.

Nate, conversely, doesn't know why he's restraining himself. He can't remember going a summer without sex, a summer without even kissing. All he knows is that he wants her, and that he'll wait for her.

* * *

"I have a proposition," Nate begins on their flight home, "You're going to Columbia, I'm at Columbia. We'll have all the same classes," he smiles, "okay maybe we'll share like two classes, but you should move in with me."

Blair has already said yes five times in her head.

"Woo me, Archibald." She demands playfully.

He cocks his head. "We were always supposed to live together, Waldorf. You know that."

That's all it takes. She tries to disguise how happy she is by replying with an eye-roll.

* * *

The day she officially declares that she's fully moved in, Nate quite literally sweeps lady Waldorf off her feet and takes her straight to bed.

Clothes are shed on their way to the bedroom, "No need for this," Blair had murmured, unbuttoning his shirt as he lays her on silk sheets. She'd expected the place to be more messy, more _Nate, _but she had a habit of putting him back into focus, and right now, he was only focused on Blair.

His kisses are messy though; urgent, and she's loving just how badly he needs this. She rolls on top of them and her last thought is about how grateful she is to the world these days, just for allowing them to be alone, together.

They share their two classes together.

They share their apartment.

They have finally learned to share one another completely.

They're the envy of all around them; Chuck and Vanessa have faded away, Dan and Serena are together, all is as it should be. That's all they need to know for the future.

Nate's strewed across the couch when Blair arrives home that evening; she had a girl's afternoon with Serena. This is all she ever wants to come home to.

She settles in his arms and feels warm enthrallment; truthfully, she thought she'd never have him back again. That snow falling was beautiful, delicate, pure, but it melted away.

"Stay." Nate grumbles in a low voice and tightens his arms around her.

So she does.

* * *

**A/N: **So Nate randomly shows up at B's door goes INTERNATIONAL. This is a legit problem people, I can't write a B/N story without incorporating it somehow! Tell me if it's getting old or if it's still going strong, haha.


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